I went to St. Louis last week to see friends get married. While there, I got to see some dear friends...people who were part of my everyday life for years before we moved to California. I didn't cry the whole weekend, but oh man...I came close. I realized how much I missed friends, our church, our apartment, my Saturday morning yoga class, even the heat.
It was the same in Austin. Friends I'd known for even longer...since high school and college. As that trip drew to a close, I started bawling (not exaggerating) because I knew I was going back to a harder place.
I decided that my 31st year (which already has almost 2 months down), was going to be about not feeling sorry for myself anymore. I may not feel as comfortable here as I'd hoped I would by this point, but there's a reason for us to be in California.
So far, that's meant going on little adventures to Napa and biking through San Francisco. It's meant cocktails and snacks. It's meant inviting people over instead of assuming they won't want to visit a messy house.
The reward has been the beginnings of contentment...something I haven't felt since we've moved. Just the beginnings, mind you, but it's something. And it's a nice something.
So, while I really miss the people of homes past, I'm making an effort to love home present. I'll keep you updated.